To Induce or Not to Induce....

It's 1 March 2006, five days after our last doctor's appointment, when Dr Marci told us that Peanut would most likely arrive in the month of February. The only that was proven in the month of February however, is that this little guy works on no one's schedule but his own. The plan on Friday when we saw Dr Marci was to nudge Peanut along on 2 March if he hadn't made his appearance by then. Although there's little difference in the process, the procedure for me would have be augmenting labour as opposed to inducing labour, since it was determined that I was already in the early stages of labour. No need for details on how that was determined. :-)

Last night however, as the induction date approached, I started having second thoughts about inducing labour and after discussing it with Roshan, having a terribly sleepless night and speaking with Dr Marci this morning, we decided to go for a sonogram tomorrow instead, as a first step, before going in for an induction. So now we're set to have a sonogram tomorrow at 8.30am where the doctor will determine whether Peanut is in good enough shape for me to try hanging on for another couple of days in the hope that he decides to make his appearance unaided or whether it is best for Peanut to be coaxed into coming out tomorrow.

Tomorrow then, might be the day, when we meet Peanut after a long, long, long wait. Or, we might decide to give the guy a little more time in his warm and fuzzy environment before introducing him to the world. We'll keep you posted on what happens through the blog, phone calls and emails. Keep us in your prayers please.

Bags are Packed, Crib is Out

We are now all set and on the home stretch. The bags are packed as you can see; one for labour, one for post-partum and six little goody bags for the doctor and nurses. The other photo shows the last minute add-on list for the bags and our "Peanut Exit Plan" pasted on the tv cabinet door in our bedroom. With all this, hopefully we won't forget anything when the moment comes to head to hospital. It's now just a matter of waiting for the bell to ring in round 1! So maybe I shouldn't look at what lies ahead as a gruelling boxing match, but I am told you sometimes do end up looking like a boxer at the end of the process, because your face goes black and blue from pushing with your face as much as with your you know what. :-) Ammi arrives tomorrow and then we'll really be set. Thaththi is only due on 28 February, but I think he will be most happy if he can arrive in time to say hi to his nicely cleaned up grandson, rather than having to go through the waiting room jitters while Peanut meanders down the birth canal. The next doctor's appointment is on Friday. At the last appointment, Dr Marci said that our baby is a "low rider" and that hopefully, I won't have to push for too long since he is already about to fall out. :-)

I can't believe the nine months have gone by so quickly. It really feels like yesterday that we were calling around and telling everyone the news about me being pregnant. Now we are on the cusp of becoming parents. It's been such a fantastic, life altering experience so far and I can only imagine how much more it will be so once Peanut is actually with us. Roshan and I have both come to realise (in a real sense as opposed to an abstract sense) just how miraculous and amazing this whole experience is and how perfectly it has been engineered. I find it fascinating that till Peanut is out in this world, he would have never taken a breath of air, but that from the moment he arrives, he can no longer live the way he has been living for the last nine months - swimming around in fluid like a little fish.

So that's all for the moment. It's a cold, cold day here and now I need to get myself a cup of tea. And Roshan just called to say he's on the way home. We're having a date night tonight at a new restaurant we haven't tried. It will be the last time, for a long time, that it will be just the two of us, alone.

Getting Close, Close, Close....

I've just completed what I have called the "Peanut Exit Plan" as well as the more traditional "Birth Plan". The Birth Plan is what I am supposed to give to Dr Marci and the nursing staff at the hospital. It basically spells out Roshan's and my wishes in terms of the whole birthing process and experience - yes to family coming in and out of the room during labour, no to perineal massage (trust me, most of you would probably say no to this too if you knew what was involved!), yes to trying a dry epidural followed by a light epidural first (with the option of cranking it up if the going gets tough), no to cutting the cord etc etc. The Peanut Exit Plan on the other hand is for us to use at home before we get to the hospital, sort of a checklist of what to do and when to do it. It's mainly meant to be a reminder of things we might forget while transferring from home to hospital during the first stages of labour, but also includes how to handle a minor emergency like the water breaking or a more major one like Peanut fast-tracking his exit while we are en route to the hospital. Can you imagine Roshan having to deliver Peanut on the side of a huge Dallas highway? Frightening! Thankfully, highly unlikely too. At least we are prepared for all eventualities! Yes, I am a bit of a control-freak. :-)

Can't believe it's just 3 more weeks to go, and that is assuming Peanut is a polite little boy and arrives right on time. Who knows when he'll decide it's time to move on down. I've felt cramps and/or Braxton Hicks contractions twice so far, though I don't really know to tell the two apart. We're teaching Kolla to "leave it" with a baby doll and this weekend, we're going to put up the travel crib that's going to be Peanut's bed for the next few months as we globetrot our way closer to home. I'm a little under the weather for the first time since I've been pregnant, but hopefully this barbed wire sore throat and nasal congestion won't last long. Roshan's doing great; though he says he could use another 3 months to get ready for the impending responsibilities of fatherhood, in the nights, he talks to my bundi and tells Peanut to "hurry up man". Our new thing is singing to Peanut while Roshan rubs the body butter on my bundi. It's our version of an old favourite:

Jesus loves you, this we know

For the Bible tells us so

Little ones to him belong

They are weak, but he is strong

Yes, Jesus loves you

Yes, Jesus loves you

Yes, Jesus loves you

The Bible tells us so

And so singing, talking, sleeping, eating, walking, laughing and going about our day to day chores and responsibilities, we wait for that moment when things will change forever.

Baby Shower!

We just got back from a baby shower thrown for us by nangi and our little group of Lankanites here in Dallas. There’s a battle for space going on in the bundi, between Peanut and all the delicious food I just wolfed down: chicken pastries, maalu paan, carrot sandwiches, sausages, devilled eggs, chocolate cake and chocolate biscuit pudding. Plenty of strong tea and steaming mugs of coffee also made their way around. It was a really special afternoon and Roshan and I are so appreciative of the love, care and thoughtfulness that had gone into the planning and execution of this fabulous little do. It was Roshan’s first baby shower experience and his words post-shower were: “I thought baby showers were supposed to be boring, but this was really fun!” So hats off to the secret agent organisers who have been conspiring over the details without letting us know a scrap of what was going to happen for the last two or three weeks.
Roshan and I almost won the one-handed diaper dressing competition, beating all the old hands like Dihan & Roshana and Thilini & Lakshan, but surprisingly, we were beaten in the tie breaker round by singletons Thuan and Roshan F who took out the title in 26 seconds. Word unscrambling games were not everybody’s forte, but thanks to a few hints and clues from nangi, all players managed to scramble through with passable scores. Roshan and I were then challenged with the task of identifying the contents of a dangerously dirty diaper, specially assembled to resemble the meconium diaper we will be encountering in Peanut’s first few hours of being in this world. Fork in hand, we dug in and rather enjoyed picking out the banana from the apple, the Cadbury from the Junior Mints and the mustard from the peanut butter! Yummy!!
Of course then we had the gifts to unwrap! What a fabulous collection of things we received: bright, dangly baby toys and bottle warmers (curiously enough, the very items that are as yet un-ticked in our long list of “things to buy” for Peanut) and the sweetest little onesies, pyjamas and bunny suits. A Notre Dame football jersey also made its way in there, courtesy of the bappi to be. And then nangi brought out the big guns and I opened up the waterworks. No, it wasn’t a gush of water announcing Peanut’s early arrival, but a whole lot of tears when nangi handed us a huge poster on which she had pasted printed messages from our family and friends around the world. I only got through half the first posting before I became a blubbering mess and decided to postpone reading the rest till everyone left. In my defense, the message I read halfway did happen to be the one from thaththi and his words almost always have that effect on me. Even Roshan – yes, my tough and mighty Roshan – found it hard to get through the messages without salting up his eyes!

Sitting here now, I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I am so thankful to our little Lankan lot here in Dallas (led by Peanut’s doting "nangi nandi" and aunty Thilini) who made this day so special for us with their presence and efforts and so appreciative of the love and wishes sent to us from around the world by those who mean so very much to us. In the last eight months, many other wonderful friends have also shared our happiness with us; they have toasted Peanut's arrival over a glass of wine or two, said special prayers for him, bought him things before even I started shopping and helped us out with everything from maternity clothes to baby monitors. Peanut is so blessed to have such a network of love surrounding him already and we are thrilled to know he will have you all in his life, be it from near or far.

Taking on Sleeplessness

This is how I feel now. The last week and a half have been terrible in terms of trying to fall asleep. I don't know whether it is simply that I am not sleepy enough by the time we go to sleep (unlikely, considering we never get to bed on the decent side of midnight), whether the oversized bowling ball that has replaced what used to be a cute little bundi is just making it harder to get comfortable on either the left or right side, or whether this is some twisted bio-psychological preparatory program for the sleepless nights ahead. The one thing I know is not the cause of this sleeplessness is Peanut being overly active. He seems to want to sleep as much as I do during these hours and I'm sure he doesn't appreciate the fact that while he's trying to catch his own bit of shut eye, the movements of his vessel of choice for entering this world are making him roll around like he's in the delicate cycle of a tumble dryer. Sorry Peanut!

Thank goodness Roshan is such a heavy sleeper. Other than last night, when he woke up twice for about 4 seconds each time to ask if I was ok, he has been able to deep sleep right through my inelegant, entirely unseductive and sometimes bitterly angry attempts to get comfortable. It's usually 5am or so when I fall into a semi- sleep state and 7.30am or so when heavy slumber kicks in. Roshan makes me a Milo around that time and sometimes I sit up with my eyes closed, gulp it down and make no complaint when Roshan insists I lie down and go right back to sleep. On those days, I have barely opened my eyes when he's kissed me before leaving for work. Then begins the guilt. This starts around 9.30am when I wake up and realise Roshan's at work, doing what he does to bring home the bacon and I didn't even get him a slice of toast before he left for work. The most I have managed to do on those kinds of mornings before he's left for work is to mumble 'make sure you take the lunch in the fridge, blue box, sorry I'm so sleepy Ro'. Bad, bad wifey. :-(

So tonight I am on a mission to get good sleep. Dr Marci told me to take Benadryl because it's safe to use during pregnancy, but before I give that a go, I am going to try cutting out anything with even a trace of caffeine in it after 5pm or so. So no more tea, Milo or KitKat - hardly what you would call a copious quantity of caffeine, but we'll see if it does the trick. Now that I think about it though, I have to admit that the other night, I indulged in two scoops of yummy, yummy Haagen Dazs coffee ice cream before bed - uh oh!! If the no-caffeine-in-almost-miniscule-quantities policy doesn't work, I am heading out to get that Benadryl. I just can't handle the guilt complex of waking up mid morning and realising Kolla hasn't eaten yet, Roshan is probably starving having only had a banana for breakfast and the work day has been pushed back by two hours! The horror! The horror!

Will keep you posted on how things go with this bedtime battle. Sleeplessness is winning so far, but I'm about to get back in the fight.

Nothing Like a Good Birth Class to Shove You Back Into Reality!

So the much awaited birth classes happened over the last two weekends. I needed this much time to actually settle my thoughts enough to sit and write this post. And whoever said that the woman does all the work during the birthing process? They should attend one of these classes. I am already stressed out thinking of all the functions I need to perform – need to get the breathing right, need to suggest laboring positions, need to make sure Dineli is well hydrated, need to be saying comforting, motivating, loving things and God help me if I get any of those things wrong. I know a few friends who didn’t do things exactly as they should have and their wives still scold them in public for their inadequacies as labor coaches! And their kids are almost 10 years old!

Seriously, the birth classes were very educational, particularly for me as I haven’t done as much reading as Dineli has done. For Dineli it was a little scary and stressful. The fairly graphic video of a natural birth process was particularly freaky. It was good to sit with 10-12 equally nervous couples and go through the options that budding parents have and the motions of the actual delivery process. Now that I have been through that class and received all this information, I can’t imagine just checking into the hospital cold and winging it. Being in that class also fostered discussions between Dineli and me that we may not have otherwise had. I am not the type of guy to suggest we talk about natural birth versus taking an epidural over a nice dinner. The most interesting part for me (not useful, just interesting) was the tour of the hospital. It was cool to learn exactly where to come, what to do and where we will be on that day. I am sure I will still be stressed out when it comes to the actual situation. The viewing of the nursery was unbeatable. There were crusty, little guys barely a few hours old getting heated up under a lamp. To think that those kids were inside a uterus just a short while back was just unbelievable.

Ok, so back to the useful stuff. I think Dineli found the information very useful, particularly because it gives her enough time between now and the actual delivery date to make a few key decisions. Even more importantly, I think it was good for her to sit in that room with 10-12 other women going through the same process and experiencing the same nervousness. Having watched Dineli go through pregnancy over the last 8 months or so and having had a unique insight into her frame of mind and attitude, with God’s grace, I have no doubt that she will make the best possible decisions for her and the baby and come through as the trooper that she is.

As for me, I now feel like I have obtained my license to become a father. Can’t wait for the next 6 weeks or so to pass so that I can get some hands on experience.

Christmas & the New Year with Peanut

First of all, Roshan and I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Years and the two of us, along with Master Peanut in utero, wish you a 2006 that is happy, fulfilling and memorable. We had ammi and thaththi here for Christmas and had a quiet celebration with them and nangi, all the while missing the rest of our families who were in Sri Lanka or Australia. For the New Year weekend, Roshan and I went to San Antonio for some quiet time together (we imagine such times will become few and far between soon). We had three relaxing, restful days and slept a lot. We celebrated the dawning of the New Year with a beer and a coke from the minibar in our room and a prayer for all the blessings we’ve experienced in 2005 and those to come in 2006. After church on New Year’s morning, we had a stroll down the Riverwalk and during our stay in San Antonio, I got the realization of my Christmas presents – prenatal massages at the hotel spa. Fabulous!

Peanut is kicking up a storm in my bundi. The change in the level of movement, from about 2 weeks back to what it is now is astounding. It actually literally happened overnight or at the most, over the course of two or three days. One day I was telling ammi that Peanut’s movements are still sporadic and two days later, he started making sure his presence was felt constantly. Now Roshan and I find a lot of amusement each night in seeing how my bundi stretches in different directions with Peanut’s movements while I am lying in bed or on the couch. So exciting! Roshan says he’s now finding it really hard to wait till March. I think it is because Peanut seems so real and so close and now he just wants the little guy to be real and close on this side of my bundi rather than on the other side. I absolutely love feeling the movements. People have told me the kicks will sometimes be very painful because of the punch they pack, but so far, the sensation is that of a slow churning in my stomach – like stirring a pot of thick custard or béchamel – and it’s a wonderful feeling.

Tomorrow Roshan and I will go to another ultrasound and doctor’s appointment. It is also the start of my 8th month. On Saturday we have our first childbirth class. I am 37 inches around the waist and over 155lbs. I have a chubby chubby face and occasional lower back pain when I’ve been walking around too much. I hope and pray the next two months and more importantly, the delivery, will happen as easily and smoothly as the last seven months. Tonight or tomorrow night, Roshan and I are going baby-stuff shopping. It’s amazing how much we need to get and all the choices available, from baby carrier types to diapers to breast pads to crib sheets to strollers. Does anyone have any recommendations for any of these types of items? If you do, please let us know, particularly when it comes to the big ticket items like strollers, cribs, car seats and breast pumps. Any advice would be welcome!

So that’s the update for now, but I will post again soon to fill you in on the ultrasound, the doctor’s appointment and the childbirth class. Roshan says he wants to make a post tonight, but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you. Take care everyone and hope 2006 is going great so far.